"Did you know you would marry a man who used mustache wax?" Anni asked this of me on the 4th of July after emerging from the bathroom. It's not unusual for guests to comment on the mustache wax left in there, but it's not often that their comments are directed to me.
After a moment's consideration, I said, "No, I didn't, but it doesn't really surprise me. She laughed and didn't ask me for an explanation. In further reflection I've decided to provide one anyway.
My sister and I have the curse of marrying men who remind others of our male relatives. In Carolyn's case, her husband superficially resembles our brother. I say superficial because they have similar coloring and builds. More than one person has commented, though, about the similarity.
In my case, Matt resembles my father and one of my uncles, but in personality and hobbies. When my dad finally met Matt, I asked him what he thought of my prospective husband. He replied something to the effect of "He likes guns and photography, what more could I ask for?".
Other members of my extended family have commented that Matt is like our Uncle Ed, my mother's brother-in-law. This is not so anomalous as it may seem, since Ed and my father were hunting buddies years before my mother and father even were a thing.
Here, then, are a few points on which Matt, my dad, and my uncle are similar on, and few on which they differ:
1. Army surplus: All three enjoy visiting the army surplus store and probably couldn't say no to another surplus jacket.
2. Facial hair: Now that my dad's brief venture into the world of the clean shaven has ended (I assume, last time I saw him he had a beard), all three are sporting facial hair. Ed has even been so kind as to share his mustache wax with Matt so that he too can curl up his ends and make his mustache honor code friendly.
3. Guns: They all like to shoot. They differ in that my dad did hunt, Ed does hunt, and Matt doesn't hunt. But that doesn't stop them from talking about their rifles and such.
4. Books: All are great readers in breadth and depth.
5. Photography: My dad loves photography and Matt does too.
6. History: My dad loves British history and medieval history, as does Matt, although my dad's is purely scholarly while Matt likes to throw in some reenactment.
7. British sports cars: My dad once owned a TR7 and Matt dreams of owning an MG.
8. Fear of small children: When I was a child, I was in awe of and fearful of my uncle. Now I see small children act the same way around my husband.
9. Professions: my dad's a doctor, my uncle a lawyer, and my husband . . . well, neither of those.
10. Comic books: One of Matt's great passions in life is comic books, but I don't think my dad or uncle shares it to the same degree. Although for a number of decades my uncle has had a subscription to a certain satirical, graphic, monthly magazine.
11. Sports: Matt has little interest in watching sports, while this is a great pastime of my father's. But they do agree on which Arizona college team to root for.
12. Builds: My father has a more of a average height and stocky build, while Matt is fairly tall and not so stocky. In the middle somewhere is my uncle.
What do you think - have I married my father?
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8 comments:
I imagine we are drawn to what we're comfortable with. Or perhaps, what we're used to doesn't ruffle our feathers? Whatever it is, there are some interesting similarities between your husband and your dad.
Thanks for the mango milk.
And I was very excited to see a midweek entry. I'm always up for more of your entries at shorter intervals.
Ahh, Matt. I too remember seeing his mustache wax, and being impressed by it. It's funny, because as for myself, I always thought that I would never marry anyone like either my father or step father, and I managed to find someone who had some elements of both. Maybe it's inevitable in marriage.
Well, the question of whether one marries ones own father is a long standing psychological debate primarily started by such great psychoanalytic minds like Sigmund Freud. However, the simple answer is, no, you married Matt, who is in fact distinctly different from you father. Sure there are similarities, but if one looks hard enough one can find similarities between almost anything.
Dear Electra,
No of course you didn't marry your father. You did grow up in an environment which would make it hard to be around the bland, homogeneous conformist that are readily available in your cultural village. And isn't Matt blessed to have your love?
I think that we need to add another line to our family motto: as they say on USA Network "Characters Welcome."
Love, Mutti
I noticed that you didn't compare politics...hmmm. :-)
I can think of no two finer gentlemen
to be comparing your husband with. Erudite, handsome, scholarly and humble to a fault. Papa(aka Ansel Adams).
Thanks everyone for your comments. I never thought I would marry "my father" or consciously looked for someone like him (believe me, I've had roommates who did). This probably because I never idealized my father the way other girls I know did - at a tender age I was already respectfully disagreeing with his diagnosis of diaper rash in favor of chicken pox. But I love and respect my father and glad that my husband shares some of his (and Ed's) traits.
Btw, Dad, Matt somehow didn't know that you had a large format camera and now wants to see it sometime.
That can be arranged. Papa
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