My cousin is a professor at a major university and as a part of his duties called a potential grad student about a fellowship the department wanted to award him. After offering the funding, my cousin asked if this student had any questions.
"Well, yeah, actually. Are there a lot of snakes in the are?"
"Snakes?" My cousin was confused.
"Yeah, you know, my wife was reading that there are more snakes in your city than any where else in the world and you can't let your kids out to play because of the danger."
My cousin tried to assure him that this was not the case, but the student kept insisting on it. My cousin began to regret offering funding, but was stuck. Fortunately the student decided not to go to his school.
I've already visited one of my schools, but I find myself thinking of questions not to ask a potential school. Here are a couple:
What about maternity insurance?
How easily is blue stilton procured here?
Why do so many of your grad students have bad teeth?
So, do you, dear reader, have any to add?
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Mrs. S via Uncle Ed captured by Kass
Why Invite Death?
Mrs. S via Uncle Ed captured by Kass
Quote
Soft the drowsy hours are creeping,
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,
I my loved ones' watch am keeping,
All through the night.
Hill and vale in slumber sleeping,
I my loved ones' watch am keeping,
All through the night.
About Me
A Selection From Our Library So Far
On My Nightstand
my currently-reading shelf:
Family and other animals
Friend or Foe?
- 131
- Aleatha (new)
- Aleatha (old)
- Annfred
- Ashley
- Baron Ambrosius Von Mundschenck
- Bluegrass Thunder!
- Boardmans
- Emily
- Greens
- Kelli
- Lora
- Lu&Moo
- Lu's Food Storage
- MA
- Maria
- Oriana
- Rachel
- RoseE
- Samuel
- Schmath
- Schmath Knits
- Schmath's Precocious Children
- Shaun
- Shawna
- Thora
- Thora's Cooking
- Veiltender
- Viola Nut
- Wheelers
11 comments:
How about what's the rate of advisers telling you that you're not ready to defend on the day of a scheduled defense?
Questions your teacher (or other educational provider) does not want to hear:
1. "Are you gonna give any extra credit?"
Meaning, how much work do I actually have to do to pass? Best asked before any actual assignment is given.
2. "What are we doing today?" Beware if you hear the word "fun."
3. "Can we watch a movie today?" Because the other teacher let his classes watch a movie. Equality rules!
And my favorite:
2. "You mean those assignments actually counted?"
Watch teacher hold in her laughter as she calmly replies, "Yes. Now you know why you are failing."
Student teaching. Fantastic times. Lessons galore.
Autumn
Wow it really sounds like that person wasn't interested in attending that school.
I would avoid asking:
Is the water radio active?(They ask this in moab all the time)
Where is the nearest Wal Mart?
Is there an SCA group on campus?
What is your policy on Campus Nudity?
Does your college support Google despite their censorship on behalf of the Chinese Governement?
1. Does your university have a wiki set up for dissertation research?
2. I know it's unethical for professors to date students, but what about graduate fellows dating undergraduates?
3. Are there still a lot of bigots on the faculty?
4. Does, like, my dissertation have to be, like, you know, totally written before I defend it?
5. Does the town have any cultural activities like science fiction conventions?
6. You're not going to make me read Der Tod in Venedig again, are you?
7. Does the cable service for campus housing get Lifetime?
8. Are you sure it's safe at your school? I've heard there are a lot of Scandinavians in the area.
9. How do you guys define plagiarism, exactly?
10. My last questions is in three parts and has to do with the landfill that I heard was upwind of the school. First, does your air still carry a reeking stench that could be compared to the emanations from the devil's bottom? Second, is it distracting for the students to attempt to engage in educational activities while their nostrils are constantly assaulted by offensive olfactory stimuli? And third, has anyone ever called your university U Stink?
When I went into my PhD program at the U the one question I never thought to ask was,"How many PhDs have you actually given?" The answer would have been 1. When I met that individual, I found the answer to my frustration with the program. The Department took NIH money for working Graduate Students, but the Department had no interest in actually working with us. Had I asked that question before accepting their offer, it would have saved me a lot of grief. Mutti
Venom - I don't want to even think about that. I hope once was enough for me.
Autumn - My favorite when I was teaching was "I'm not going to be here on Friday. Are we doing anything important?"
Travis - I've already looked up most of the campuses SCA groups
Mormonmagzmeister - You win. My favorite was the one about Tod in Venedig.
Mutti - One of the German societies actually keeps track of those statistics, so I don't have to ask. Well, they don't include the attrition rates (ie, how many who enter actually finish), but they keep track of the graduates each year. I've got that somewhere. It is very important.
Linus says to ask other grad students about money, but not the professors. Hopefully professors will be telling you that information themselves without you having to ask, but his advice is to not ask them yourself.
Other questions we just came up with:
Does my dissertation have to use a theory?
Can I do my dissertation on German rap?
I like Car's last two questions best.
--Chickadeedee
What strings do I have to pull to get my husband accepted here with a large fellowship?
Snakes? Try Guam. Supposedly, this small island has more snakes than people, about 14,000 per square mile. I saw more snakes when I lived in Arizona. Still, University of Guam will likely be a school with more snakes...in case you want to come here and boast about the claim to fame...
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