If you want to be a badger, just come along with me

I went to nearly every football game as an undergrad at the G.O.D.U., but since that means I haven't been to a football game in eight years, we decided we'd better go watch the Badgers play. This week was homecoming and the big rivalry with the neighboring state to the west, the Gophers, for the axe of that great mythical American deforester. We had been warned that the student was drunk, rowdy, and vulgar, so we gratefully accepted one of my colleagues' invitation to be our guide through this sports ritual.



Badger student fans stand for the whole game and although they have an assigned seat, they stand first come, first serve, wherever they want within their section. We only got there about fifteen minutes early, but we got excellent seats since the rest of the students were still trying to get their morning tailgating in before the game started at noon. This gave us a chance to figure out some of the rituals before the game started.

For example, I had been feverishly working to learn the fight song before I got there, only to discover that it's about the only song NOT sung by the student section, except for a few choice words ("U-rah-rah" and "Fight"). I might as well have learned it in German.



Once the game got underway, we discovered what would become my favorite chant: each time the Badgers get a first down, the fans repeat after the announcer "First and ten WI" (or "first and goooooooooal WI") and gesture to the field.






The badgers soon acquired a 14-0 lead and we quickly learned the accompanying bobbing, fist pumping and chanting. And of course, Bucky doing push-ups.



As the student section finally filled up and the gophers began to score in the second quarter, the famed vulgarities began to fly. If you have the lack of sense to be rooting for the opposing team, you may just get a number of students point and yelling "a--hole" at you. Particularly if your team is doing well and you let everyone know.



Also in the second quarter, the different student sections turn on each other and chant vulgar sayings ("$#&* you" vs "eat &*%@"). The last chancellor (NOT Biddy) was quite embarrassed by this and asked the students to stop. Naturally, this only increased the students insistence on doing it. It is now an essential call and response at different points in the game and during the band's rendition of "Swingtown."

On a less vulgar note, the wave down in the second quarter follows a prescribed order: normal speed, slow motion, double time, normal, and normal split to go both ways.

Mercifully, the students sit down for most of the halftime show. Oddly, the rest of the stadium stands for it. This is when I learned that while the students don't sing the fight song, they do stand and sing the alma mater, swaying arm in arm. Also, "Varsity" would make a great organ postlude.

I decided to call my dad during halftime:

Dad: Hello
Me: Hey papa! Are you watching the game?
*static*
Dad: Hello?
Me: HEY PAPA! ARE YOU WATCHING THE GAME?
Dad: What game?
Me: The Badger game. We're here at the stadium watching it.
Dad: What? Where are you? Where are they playing?
Me: In Madtown.
Dad: Who are they playing?
Me: The Gophers.
Dad: What's the score?
Me: 14-9.
Dad: Why aren't you winning by more?
Me: That's what we're trying to figure out too. You should watch the game. Talk to you later!

My father sounded confused. I only figured out later that I never told him which of his daughters was calling. I suppose I assumed that since I sounded positive and upbeat that he would know it was darling daughter number one, not darling daughter number two, whose peanut has been trying to keep her down.

During the third quarter, the badgers increased their lead and the marching band split up to do visit among the crowd (which I thought was way cool). We finally came to the "Jump Around" tradition between the third and fourth quarters. This is when the sound guy plays that song by the Irish-American rappers and everyone in the student section jumps up and down the whole time.



When they added sky boxes to the stadium in 2003, however, the administration (led by the previously mentioned kill-joy chancellor) nixed the song. When the first home game came and "Jump Around" was not forthcoming, the students started jumping in protest and chanting "*@^# the sound guy". It wasn't until after the game that it was announced to the public that it hadn't been a technical error, but an administrative decision and the students were asked not to jump around and cause the stadium to vibrate. Once again, whatever the way is to get students to not do something, it is certainly not asking them not to do it. The students protested in true spirit and continued to jump around. Finally after significant testing to prove that the skyboxes would not fall off if the students persisted in jumping, the administration rescinded its ban, and the music returned.

The fourth quarter saw more Badger and Gopher gains, but in the end the Badgers won.



The large lead let some students go back to partying, as you can see in the empty seats at the end. We got to keep the axe.



Then the fifth quarter starts, in which the badger marching band play for twenty minutes while the fans sing and dance (literally!).



The students have choreographed beautifully a number of songs ("Ring of Fire", "Hey Baby", "Swingtown", "Tequila", "If you want to be a badger") - choreography which rivals the best done by primary choristers. Also, we learned that the funky chicken is even more exciting done on bleachers.

It ended just as we thought our legs would give out and our parched throats could sing no more. We managed to get out and get some water before the 95 degrees sucked out the last drop of $4 coke finished off at halftime. Good thing these badgers are desert dwellers.